My dad died on 31 October 2018 (Or maybe the 30th, but I got the call on the 31st so for me that will always be THE day)
It wasn’t unexpected (He had been ill for a while)… but it shook me
He isn’t in any more pain (Which is a relief)… but I still cry till it hurts
He was old(er) : ) He didn’t reach 100 but at least he lived to see more than his 60th birthday…. but in my mind my dad had not aged in years!
Grief is felt, not processed. I try to process. All the time. Death is natural, it will happen to all of us eventually… but it doesn’t make it feel any better.
Something else I discovered: until you have actually lost a loved one, you can only process. You know in your head what the grieving person must or must not do. You can talk to them and give them advice on what you think is the best things to do or feel… But you cannot FEEL for them.